Letter to my son...
Dear, dear, sweet Bo,
Oh how I hate CMV. But more importantly, oh how I love and adore you more than anything words could ever describe. You are the most precious gift I have ever been given, and I truly would never change a thing about you! Even the damage to your brain that damn virus caused when you were growing in my tummy. You have only been alive for three years, and you have touched so many people. You are the epitome of joy. It is like you have things figured out, and the rest of us are totally clueless. You were born with the cards stacked against you. Even the smallest things have been harder for you than others. You have been poked and tested and cut open and put to sleep and seen every specialist in the medical field. Yet, you always choose joy. You love everyone you see. You are pure and so beautiful. Your eyes twinkle when you smile. How do you do it!? Are you going to be okay through the years? What do you want us to do? You are so very loved!
Oh man, where is your faith? God has told you over and over again not to worry! And that's all you do! You really should take some of that worrying-energy and put it towards playing trains or golf or football with me. Don't you know that's all I want! All I need really! You know I'm still a little boy, and you know that's what I love. Sometimes I think you worry so much about what all I can't do that sometimes you miss what all I can do. I may not be a rocket scientist one day, but let's be real--I have your genes. That wasn't going to happen anyway. I already can do so much more than most people ever thought I would. And, Mom, I'm only three! So what if I'm a little slower than most people. What's their hurry anyway? We all get 24 hours in a day. Plus, I get what's important in this life. I have fun all the time, no matter what I'm doing or where I am. I am always spreading joy. What else is there? I don't get bogged down with worry or fear or sadness or trying to figure things out. I just am. I don't think I will ever over analyze things or try to find the meaning of life. I'm pretty sure I've already got it. God gave me that gift, and it is real simple. Mom, you really shouldn't worry about me, or my future, or my now. I'm so good. I'm so cool, and I'm so happy. I need you to love me a lot because everybody needs that. Man, I love you and Daddy and Cecilia a ton. Y'all are my best friends. You are always laughing with me and making me feel really great. I really just want you to be my mom. All those doctors and teachers and therapists are helping me a lot, too. Most of all, I've got God and his beautiful grace. Look how far that has gotten me! Now listen, I trust God totally. I don't worry about anything. I'm not scared of anything. You should be that way, too, Mom! It is the best way to live! I know you can do it because I believe in you. Isn't that what you always say to me!Now it's your turn. Just trust God. He clearly has this thing figured out. Now can we please play and quit dealing with all this silly stuff!